Happy Halloween!

Yes, I've talked about it for months, and now it's here: Christopher spreading holiday cheer as a Ninja for Halloween. He's even sporting the authentic Ninja pose. Here's a closeup:






















I actually told Christopher while he was in utero that he would be able to dress up in a really cool Ninja costume for his first halloween. Of course, I thought that he would be about 10 months old at that point, and clearly able to handle all of the rights and responsibilities of being a Ninja. I also thought that I would be able to con someone with a sewing machine somewhere to make the costume for me. Well, 15 minutes at Wal-Mart, and a $1.97 go a long way. He's wearing Mommy's bandanna, and his bodysuit is a child's ski mask with arm holes cut into it...it was the only thing small enough to put him in. The yellow onesie he's in was non-negotiable at the time =).

We had a really cool experience with him today (besides the Ninja wear, which is actually quite cozy for him and we think we may hang on to), where when we fed him we got to unhook him from the monitors. It was so wonderful...just to be able to pick up our baby and carry him around! He still had wires attached to him, but we didn't have to wheel a dinging monitor everywhere. It was the first time ever that I've picked him up and not had a 3ft or less tether on where I could take him. Such an amazing, freeing experience.

We did have to put him back on the monitors when we were done feeding him (he had an apnea spell yesterday after his eye exam and today after he threw up). I'm starting to get excited and nervous about taking him home...how will we ever sleep if we're afraid that he will stop breathing in the night? Please pray that he won't have any more spells, ever. That would solve it.

Rach and I are both pretty run down, kind of nearing the end of our reserves. Again. =). I know we'll have the strength to make it through, but man, we'll be tired when we're done.

One more thing...our little man now weighs 4 pounds! He's starting to get fat on his cheeks, on the backs of his little fingers, and on his legs. It's fun to see so much change in him every day.

Gotta go!

--Andy

Big Breakfasts...

Before we get started, I'd like to mention that I've been having more and more trouble using the Blogger engine to post photos to our site. I don't know what the deal is, but it's frustrating me to the point of needing to go elsewhere for my blogging needs. More on that when I can get back to work and talk to people who know much more about that kind of thing than I do.

Rachel and I got up this morning and I made a big breakfast. Pancakes, fruit topping, hot tea, bacon, the whole deal. It was so wonderful...we used to have a big breakfast every Saturday morning that we were home (which wasn't that often, but still). When we had just gotten married, it was one of the things we could do together that was simple and fun. I know this won't sound flattering at first, but the smell of bacon cooking will probably always remind me of my Dad. Ever since we were kids, Saturday mornings were the same - eggs, toast, and hot tea (the tea being for Dad until I was about 16 - although Dad, my growth never got stunted from the caffeine because I'm 6"1'). Interesting how something as banal as eggs on toast can profoundly influence a person for the rest of their lives.

It makes me excited to think about all of the traditions and fun that we'll have with our kids...and not just the planned things like how the Christmas tree gets decorated (in my childhood, the lights in a mathematical grid pattern with perfectly spiraled garland), but the unintentional things that are so much a tradition that they are a part of who you are a person. I stir my tea like my dad: loudly. Like my mom, I raise my eyebrows when I'm listening to people (watch for it, you'll see it). My sisters and I have all inherited my Mom's gift of gab and my Dad's sarcastic humor (alas, a gift and a curse =) ). Christopher likewise will be a product of all of the shared experiences of his Mommy and Daddy. While this is quite scary, it's also very exciting, because I've calculated that Rachel and I have, at worst, only 23 characteristics that could be classified as "bad," 6 that would be considered "really bad," and 1 that has been labeled "excommunicative" (that one's mine).

Seriously though, eggs on toast made me realize that it is a good thing in life when you are as excited to be in the moment as you are about what's coming up next. I'm overjoyed when I see Christopher now, and I'm dreaming about what our home will be like with him in the future. What a blessing it will be to have him home for the holidays.

Sorry, for you math people, here are the facts =):

Weight: 3lbs 12.8oz
Apnea/Bradycardia spells: 0, last one 3 days ago
Bottle/Breast Feedings: 4/day
Disposition: Content, unless you're changing his diaper and he gets cold
Parents: Tired. Happy. Sad sometimes. Stressed out but hanging in there.

We love you all...thanks for reading and praying!

--Andy

Gaining weight and oxygen free!

Oxygen free! Christopher came off his oxygen yesterday morning and has been doing well since then. He's only had one apnic/brady spell in the last week! PTL!!





























Daddy fed Christopher for the first time last night. Our little man drank 26 of his 30mL feeding - way to go, Christopher! He's now allowed to be breast/bottle fed 3 times a day.
















He's doing pretty well at breastfeeding. Mommy and Christopher both need some practice, but he's doing a good job latching on and sucking. He just gets worn out after a few minutes. We think he's pretty smart already. He'll be wide awake when we start his feeding, but as soon as he's done or tired out, he closes his eyes and opens his mouth as wide as he can. Once the bottle is put away, he'll wake right up again and stay alert for another 20 minutes or so. Knows how to get his way already!
















Stretching out to show his size - Christopher has now gained over 1 lb!!!! He is 3 lb. 9 oz. Funny how that seems big to us now.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support. We love you all!

~Rachel

Guess what ..... ?!?

.....I now weigh 3 lbs. 5.4 oz.!!
















.....I still like to snuggle my Daddy!
















.....I got to be wrapped in a new blanket today - one with animals - I like it better!
















.....Mommy fed me a bottle last night! I drank 18 mL from it before she had to give me the rest though my tube. It was hard work, so I decided to go to sleep instead of finishing it all.

.....and.....
















.....I got promoted to a new bed! Now I'm all bundled up in several blankets and I have to keep my hat on, but I'm not in the incubator anymore. Hopefully I can keep maintaining my own body temperature in this new "regular" bed so I'll be one step closer to going home.
















.....Mommy likes it better because now she can kiss me whenever she wants! (so can Daddy.)


Thanks for praying for me. Jesus is answering your prayers - I heard the doctor telling Daddy and Mommy today that I'll probably get to go home with them in 2 1/2 weeks!!! That will be a good day. I can't wait to finally meet all of you.

Love,
Christopher

A sure thing

Here's some advice, if you ever want to be sad, do the following:

1. Have a long day at work
2. See your son at the hospital
3. Leave your son in the hospital
4. Drive home alone late at night
5. Cue the steady rain
6. Blast your radio, only to have NPR be doing a special on Irish funeral dirges

Works every time! =)

I really did have to laugh at how sad it was, because although I was truly sad, it was kind of funny how everything came together...the rain, the lonely road, and on top of all of it the FUNERAL DIRGES! Over the top. But I guess that's what makes a lot of things "funny" - absurdity.

Anyways, I'm doing fine, but that was a sad ride home. Christopher is doing really well today. This is the first day in a while that he has had no episodes of Apena or Bradycardia. When I got ot hold him tonight, he just did normal baby stuff, not turn blue. He's weighing in at 3 pounds 1.5 oz, and should go up from there. In other good news, he's holding his temperature well and if he keeps gaining weight (at least 4-8 more ounces) then they will consider moving him to a crib (read: clear plastic box without a lid). He's still under a close watch though, and the nurse tonight acknowledged that he's had a rougher than expected time with the whole breathing thing but that it wasn't necessarily an indication of greater problems down the road. You always worry about that stuff, but I guess I should hold off on freaking out until I have something to really freak out about.

Rachel has a big test tomorrow at 8:00AM, so please pray for her. She's trying so hard to stay focused but I know it's the hardest thing for her to do.
















Hehe...this is Christopher with a onesie that we tried to bring to have him wear. It says it's for a "preemie," but either America is getting way fatter than I realized or somebody must have switched tags on us...we just laughed and took it home. Notice his little feet sticking out of the bottom - it covers his whole body! They just don't make clothes as small as him.

New Perscription...

Today at a doctor's appointment, Rachel and I got a new prescription:

Go on more dates.

It seems that a doctor can tell us in a 15 minute appointment (that took 2.25 hours of waiting to actually get to) that we need to spend more time together and taking care of each other. It's an easy thing to forget in the name of something as important as taking care of a newborn in the hospital. It's funny; our friends and family have been telling us the same thing. Something that makes me feel good about going on a date is that it's really an investment in Christopher and any more kids that we may be blessed with to keep our marriage strong and our spirits refreshed. The NICU scene can be very draining in ways that you don't always notice right away.

I saw something today that I should have taken a picture of but didn't. It was both about the saddest thing and the most promising thing I've ever seen. In a Blockbuster parking lot near us, there is this tiny triangle of grass, probably no more than 6-7 square feet in size. The green grass is surrounded by an asphalt curb and raised up about 8 inches off of the blacktop lot. It's literally a tiny island of green surrounded by a sea of lifeless, tarry blacktop. At first, I was genuinely saddened by the sight of it. As a lover of nature and all things out-of-doors (except big spiders), it was depressing to see this struggling patch of life that had been cruelly entombed by concrete. It seemed hopeless and totally unfair. A tree could never survive on the amount of earth present there, only something small, like grass. And the grass could only survive there, not thrive, because it couldn't grow outside of its hardened surroundings...the only thing beyond its concrete walls is lifeless blacktop. But then I thought of something that made me smile.

With enough time, nature would win. I've been to Greece, and seen ruins of ancient buildings that have survived three or four millennia, but they had to be unearthed in order to be seen. Take a look at an abandoned house...it only takes a few seasons for nature to take over and for plants to break windows, uproot foundations and for the entire structure to be unrecognizable. In some ways, I feel like we are living with that kind of potential. Right now, Christopher is growing and struggling in a tiny plastic box. He is very limited, his environment is sterile, and outside of him all he can see are other tiny boxes with struggling life - an asphalt landscape with the occasional grassy triangle. But given time, a moment will come when nature will take over and my son will grow big and wild and ready to take over everything around him and change it. He'll outgrow his box and be too strong to be merely contained. Sooner or later, he'll come home, our foundations will be uprooted, and we can begin the life that we were meant to simply live and steadily grow before God.

When that happens, I'm going to rent a backhoe, go to Blockbuster, and plant a tree.

--Andy

3 Pounds!

Well, looks like blogger is shutting down tonight from 9-11PM - prime blogging time.

Today was a long day for me. I worked about 12 hours on a video shoot, and then when I went to visit Christopher I found Rachel giving him oxygen. We're so tired of him turning blue...so much emotional distress for us every time. =(

Otherwise, he's doing well. He's continuing to gain weight, and last night he finally topped 3 Pounds! For reference, here are a couple of things you can now compare him to:

- 1.36 Kilograms
- 3 T-bone steaks
- 3/5 a small bag of flour
- 578 pennies
- 1/5 of an average Thanksgiving Turkey
- 4 monster thickburgers

This is a great day!

--Andy