Some Pictures for You

One thing I must start with - my wife takes some very powerful, emotive pictures. While I've spent the last several years honing technical skills to make my photos commercially viable and technically as perfect as possible, Rachel's natural emotive qualities have been quietly becoming a natural part of how she shoots pictures. I love her work. If a shot takes your breath away, chances are, it's hers.


Kaela with Mommy's hand and the smallest pacifier that the NICU has. She has a great sucking reflex already, which is a very good sign!



















Wide-angle perspective shot of the world Kaela lives in



















A visit from Aunt Sarabeth and Aunt Mollie (Silas' fiance)




















We decorated Kaela's isolette yesterday with pictures from home, and topped it off with this rockin' pink blanket from Grandma.


















In addition to these new pics, please pray for me (Andy). I'm going to go give blood this morning, and, well, if any of you know me you know this is could be a pretty traumatizing event! Throwing up, passing out, and general anxiety are just a few of the pleasures that await me. However, when the doctors told me that Kaela will likely need a blood transfusion soon because she can't make enough red blood cells on her own, I knew I needed to donate so that someone could benefit from my blood. I'm type "O negative", the universal donor, so it's kind of important that I give. I tried to set it up so that I could give to Kaela, but the odds are that she would need the transfusion long before my blood would be finished with all of the testing done by the Red Cross, so I just want to donate anyway to feel like I'm helping someone.

Thanks everybody...we love you!

--Andy

Kaela Update

** I've added a link to the right that will always go to the post on how to help us if you'd like to. That way, we can keep it updated and it will always stay up, so we'll try to mention it if we've added something new. Rachel just added some things that would really help us out and a number for her Mom, who will be acting as our "relief coordinator". Haha... I just thought of something funny: FEMOM. Get it?

I only have a minute, so I'll put pictures up later. Kaela is still doing well, but a few of the complications of being born so early are starting to show up. Here's a quick rundown:

Most frightening to us, the doctors just did an ultrasound of her head, and found a Class I Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH, or bleeding in the brain). They are going to monitor it closely and see if the bleeding progresses. Statistically, if the bleed stays at a class I or II then she shouldn't have long term complications. But yeah, as her parent I guess that should make me feel better than it actually does at this very moment. Here's an article with a little more on the subject if you are curious.

Her blood gases continue to be okay, but not stellar just yet. She is still breathing just with nasal oxygen, and is breathing close to room air and doing a great job of staying warm. Her little GI tract appears to be working just fine, and she continues to be receiving feedings of breast milk through a tube. She even pooped yesterday! I've never been so happy to report that.

She is having trouble regulating her blood PH, which the doctors say could be par for the course, or could indicate a trouble with her PDA (the hole in infant's hearts, more if you click here) . They are treating her with Sodium Bicarbonate, which she is tolerating well, and we'll see what happens. If it continues to be an issue, the doctors will order some tests on her heart to see if the PDA is the issue.

Kaela continues to have spells where she forgets to breathe, or her heart slows down significantly (called Bradycardia and/or Apnea), but she usually wakes up when you open the door to her isolette. This is very normal for a 27 weeker, and Christopher had lots of issues with this, but it eventually goes away as the baby matures. Even though I know all that, it doesn't make it easier to sit there and watch your kid in distress while warning lights and bells are going off on all her monitors.

Yesterday night was tough for me. Just being honest, I was pretty depressed. I know to expect that cycle now...feeling sad even when there are many reasons to rejoice, and at other times feeling on top of the world because of the everyday miracles that we witness with little Kaela and Christopher. The cycle is part of my body and mind trying to cope with everything that is going on, and it's not always something where being rational can make it go away. There will be an end to this, and we'll bring her home one day, and things could ALWAYS be worse, but that doesn't mean that right now there aren't some appropriate times to just feel down, lousy, scared, or just plain worn-out.

Still, we have lots of reasons to be thankful...the wonderful network of support we have here and from all over the world makes this not just bearable, but a testimony to the blessings of being a member of the body of Christ. And I know Kaela will be okay and some day soon come home. We love that all of you are reading and journeying through this with us, and we gain strength every day from your prayers.

On a nerdy note, I've started taking different lenses for my camera with me when I go to visit Kaela, and that always provides a little creative outlet for me. Oh, and Christopher just emptied an entire box of wet wipes all over the family room. Did I mention that we have lots of reasons to smile? =)

UPDATE: My Grandfather (Mom's Dad) has been hospitalized with a brain hemorrhage. They knew he had pressure on his brain that was causing him to lose some basic functions, and he had elected to have a surgery to relieve the pressure that involves drilling two holes in his skull. When they were preparing for the procedure, the doctors discovered a bleed in his brain that is too severe to operate on at this time. They are monitoring him as well to see what happens. I never like the "just wait and see what happens and hope it gets better" treatment. Nothing against anyone in particular, but doesn't it seem like there should just be a solution for every problem? The internet has made me impatient and unreasonable.

--Andy

Going Home

Today was a wonderful, yet hard day as well. We packed up everything in our little room that had become "home" for the past 5 days and checked out of the hospital. It is wonderful to be out in most ways, but it was hard to leave Kaela behind. I do think it was a little easier this time around knowing in general what's ahead of us, and also having a rambunctious toddler at home to focus our time and energy on as well. I have missed seeing Christopher and am amazed at how much his vocabulary and type of play has grown since I've been "gone." I definitely now have a little boy and a baby girl...it's wonderful.

During our last visit before heading home this afternoon, Andy and I were blessed with an unexpected gift. We were told we probably wouldn't be able to hold Kaela for a week or so because of the arterial line in her umbilical cord, but the nurse was getting her out of her incubator and all swaddled for us to hold when we walked into the room! It was a precious time to share with each other.

Mommy and Kaela Ruth.















She felt weightless in my arms.






















Kaela wearing Daddy's ring. We were trying to help everyone get an idea of just how small she really is by including something of a "known size" in the picture.















Andy holding his daughter for the very first time. I cried.















Daddy and Kaela. She snuggled right down against him and wanted the blanket touching her little mouth. Each time we moved it away to see her face, she would wiggle her head until the blanket was up against her lips again. We laughed, because Andy always sleeps with the sheet touching his mouth too. Already 'like father, like daughter.'















Perfect, little face - almost her whole head is as long as Andy's thumb!!!!! Tiny.















Kaela was not very happy with the nurse when she unwrapped her to put her back in the incubator - she was quite comfortable and content in her Daddy's arms.





















After our special visit, we drove home to meet our Monkey. Anna and my Mom were there to help us unload and settle in, and Cortney brought us a delicious supper - so we were set for the evening. Thank you.

We brought pictures and video of Kaela to show to Christopher. As he sat beside Rachel on the couch and watched Mommy and Daddy holding Kaela, he suddenly wanted to turn around and put his arm on me and rub my neck (his way of showing affection.) Then he wanted me to say hi to him and hug and kiss him...guess he was feeling a little insecure and jealous already. I'm sure that's going to be challenging to deal with and quite a shock for him, so please keep him in your prayers as well.

It was wonderful to be able to sit and play with Christopher again, snuggle on the couch, and sing and rock him to sleep. I couldn't understand how a mother could love two children equally - I loved Christopher so much...but in an instant of time, I fully understood.

UPDATE: Kaela now weighs 2lbs 9oz! She is so amazing and we are so blessed!

Kaela is 24!

Hours old, that is. And she's doing great. They have her off the CPAP machine and on nasal air with minimal oxygen support. They say that the first 24-48 hours can be the "honeymoon period" and that things can go down from there, but we're enjoying every minute with our little girl. Here's a BUNCH of pictures for you.

Also, I know we've been posting like crazy, but Rachel wrote a really beautiful post during the waiting period in the hospital that I believe merits being mentioned again. If you haven't already read it, read this post: Who am I? by clicking on the link. Rachel did a beautiful job of articulating why we can have strength, hope, and peace during this time of upheaval and uncertainty.

If you have dial-up, you may want to consider going to broadband because of this post:


Kaela late last night, on the CPAP machine, holding Daddy's finger


















Some shots from this morning, with Mommy and Daddy's hands (yes, that's a ManCamp shirt I'm wearing!):































































































Unlike the NICU where Christopher stayed, this NICU has some more relaxed visitation policies. In Lexington, the only people who could see Christopher were his parents, and grandparents. Here, as long as they're not sick, we've been able to take our siblings in to see Kaela as well. This is a welcome change and a real blessing as we are able to share the joy of this miraculous little girl with so many more people in our lives. Here are some pics from family members getting to visit her. With shots of people outside the isolette, you get a better sense of scale and how small she really is!

A visit from Christopher's "Buddy", Auntie Meg. We're sure Kaela will grow to love her if Christopher doesn't keep Auntie Meg all to himself!



















Sho Sho, Aunt Anna, Uncle Silas and Babu




















































De-Da and Aunt Jenny



















Gramma (I forgot to snap one of Papa and Aunt Stephanie, but they were here too!)




















Christopher is too young to go into the NICU to see his baby sister right now, but he did amuse himself watching the "wurkers" outside climbing the ladders and making phone calls. Everytime he saw one on the phone, he said that they were calling "Megnan". He also insists that the workers are using "Babu's Truck" to get around, and they are also using "De-Da's Tools" to fix things. He's going to be such a great big brother, as he's already helping to hang up "Kae-ya's Clodes". He's such a blessing to us and a constant source of smiles.


































When Megan came into the NICU with us, and I broke out the camera and started snapping pictures, she said to Kaela: "Kalea, you'd better get used to a camera in your face, because this is how it's going to be for the rest of your life!" Probably true, but I think she likes the camera.


















We love you little girl! Stay strong!

--Andy